Before I started blogging, I was shy about revealing my cherished relationship with God. I am so aware of His presence that I constantly “talk” to Him in my head. I share everything with Him. My immediate family and close friends know this, but I was reluctant to disclose this with one and all.

My reluctance was a denial of Jesus. It was just as horrible as Peter’s denial of Him. Peter was so human, so terrified, and so bewildered. I understand why he did it. I also understand why he cried bitterly when the rooster crowed that third time, and Jesus looked at him. I wonder how long he ran?

Later, when Jesus asked him three times if he loved Him, it hurt me. I can only imagine what that question did to my favorite apostle, because I have grieved the Lord again and again. Daily, I praise Him for grace, because I desperately need it. Psalm 34:8 “O taste and see that the LORD is good: blessed is the man that trusts in Him.” I praise God for His mercy, love, and faithfulness.

When I felt overwhelmed with troubles, and I wondered if God cared, I was denying Him. When I said a silent prayer before meals, so as not to offend those who do not say grace, I was denying Him. When I hesitated to use His precious name in front of others that were not believers, I was denying Him. You get the gist of it. Sadly, at the moment, I never thought about Him being right there with me.

Peter’s denial was horrible, but he only denied Him once. That did not make him unworthy to be a disciple, but Jesus called him on it. I believe all the “minor” ways we deny Jesus also hurt Him. I am so ashamed of the times that I did not want to appear pious, so I put myself, or others, before Him. The Holy Spirit showed me that was wrong.

Thanks to His loving guidance, I am much wiser. I strive to put the Lord first. When I fail, I am quick to ask Him for forgiveness. Praise God for mercy. I sincerely believe that Jesus would have forgiven Judas. If that man had fell at the Lord’s feet, and expressed the remorse he felt when he threw the thirty pieces of silver into the temple, Judas would be with Him in heaven.

We must acknowledge that we belong to Jesus, and put Him before all others. Our lives must reflect Him before this world. Matthew 10:33 is the verse the Holy Spirit brought to my mind. “But whosoever shall deny Me before men, him I also will deny before My Father in heaven.” Those are chilling words, and I never again considered another person’s feeling over using the name of Jesus.

Dear Reader, God is so very good to those that love His Son. He understands and He knows we are self-effacing. That is why He calls us sheep.

My daughter talked me into joining Instagram. You can find me there under Patricia Gunn Hall. The picture is of my husband and I, with our precious grandson. He is sixteen now and the first to follow me on that platform. He posts music . . . rap. He is trying to convince me that rap is music. It is a hopeless endeavor, but I enjoy his efforts.

If you know anyone struggling with their faith, Katie’s Quest for Truth is free. The book is fiction, but many of the things that happen to her are from my own search for God. Katherine is an only child, while I have four younger siblings. In the book, Katie searches Scripture for God, while her faith battles doubt. Like the disciple, Thomas, she wants a one-on-one encounter with God. In the meantime, Katie is getting to know her mother, and dealing with her best friend’s jealousy.